I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
