ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
