Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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