I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
