If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
