I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
