me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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