Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Randomize
