mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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