Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
