whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish you could order shots online.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
