Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
