I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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