Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
