god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So much Jack, so little girl.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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