I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
look no pants
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
