We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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