seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
