Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
