Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
