I can tuck mytits in my pants
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
