Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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