Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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