ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
