doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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