$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
