well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
