Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
