nut hugger
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
