Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
