Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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