the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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