I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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