I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
