i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have post one night stand depression
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
