i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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