Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize