I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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