I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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