I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
