you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
