Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
