Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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