Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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