That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
