My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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