And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
