sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
