so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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