So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
