Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
