Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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