i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i dont even know how to be here
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
