How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
