she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
