I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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