I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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