overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
