is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
