dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
