butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize