Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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