I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
